Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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