we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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