You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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