the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
