I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize