matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
