Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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