I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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