Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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