so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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