he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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