are you so shy because you have an std?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize