we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
