There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
