Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize