Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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