East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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