i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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