i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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