I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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