I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can you repeat that, but with context?