somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
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maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax