that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
