my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable