Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
