Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize