After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Drunk is a universal language darling
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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