Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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