i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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