Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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