Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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