i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
