best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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