he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
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I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
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He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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