gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Operation Purity has been aborted
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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