those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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