OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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