GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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