So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
