I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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