it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
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And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize