just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
