She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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