the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize