very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
