remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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