fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize