its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize