I think i peed on brittanys purse
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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