it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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