My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
