she woke up with a sticky ear
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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