I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?