I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
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we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
