Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.

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(909): View more from California

yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face

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(713): View more from Texas

Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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(606): View more from Kentucky

at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.

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