At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?