Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Jerry, you need to find god

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  (502): Jerry, you need to find god http://tfl.nu/604x
  Replies (17) Good night (786) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?

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  (641): Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart? http://tfl.nu/xjrc
  Replies (23) Good night (3302) Bad night (1459)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  are you high?

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  (402): what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers (1-402): are you high? http://tfl.nu/fjf1
  Replies (36) Good night (12595) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.

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  (609): i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier. http://tfl.nu/075q
  Replies (14) Good night (4512) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

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  (303): i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed http://tfl.nu/xgm0
  Replies (43) Good night (2087) Bad night (14200)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

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  (614): Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him http://tfl.nu/w6qf
  Replies (19) Good night (5245) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.

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  (716): I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/l7kg
  Replies (34) Good night (3243) Bad night (10004)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me

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  (807): her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me http://tfl.nu/f0ty
  Replies (15) Good night (4500) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.

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  (320): What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off. http://tfl.nu/fj7u
  Replies (12) Good night (2739) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES

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  (303): YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES (1-303): YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES http://tfl.nu/trz6
  Replies (9) Good night (2500) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan

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  (504): why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/6v6o
  Replies (9) Good night (1440) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.

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  (817): Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount. http://tfl.nu/oq9w
  Replies (10) Good night (2119) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?

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  (512): My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches? http://tfl.nu/d2yt
  Replies (11) Good night (633) Bad night (1958)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on

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  (919): I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on http://tfl.nu/gqy6
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.

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  (503): Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY. http://tfl.nu/gw0u
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (281)

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